Senseless or Non sense?

Feel Like Writing

I FEEL like writing. I want to write about.. about something I know not. What I know is just I want to write, type, and write. It came to the point that I get annoyed because I can’t think of what will I write is all about. I want to write, to type. Closing my eyes I think of the things that gives me inspiration… but my mind get mixed up.

Ting! There is some thing that pops out my mind but the next thing I’m thinking is just another matter that is not about the thing that had just pop out my mind.

Ting! There’s another, I think of a ‘much’ better thing then my mind continues to search for another thing. I can’t focus on what I will write.

And right now, I think you are already mixed up for my matter right now is not clear and for what you are reading right now is just a long senseless never-ending thinking things.. And right now, I think you are already mixed up for what my matter right now is not clear and for what you are reading is just another senseless sentence that I had just type again.. And right now, I think you are already mixed up for what my matter right now is not really clear and for what you are reading is just another non sense sentence I just repeated for the third time.. And right now, I think you are not mixed up but you are really annoyed with me or with this thing for what my matter right now is now clear and for what my matter right now is to make you and your mind perplex  and for what you are reading right now is just to make you vex.. And right now, I think you are, okay I’ll stop it.

I know you are already wrath. Sorry for that. And right now, I think you are, okay I will stop this non sense thing for you are right now is already annoyed, okay I just repeated it again. Stop. Stop. Stop. Again, I’m saying sorry.. but not really saying, I had type it right? Typing.. typing.. typing.. typing sorry again. Okay sorry. Really I am sorry. Sorry I am sorry.

I just want to write, I just want to.. I just want to.. I just want your mind to be mixed up even if it is, I think, really mixed up. Is it? Is your mind really mixed up? Already mixed up? Confused? Confused? Are you? Don’t you? Aren’t you? Do you?

See this ‘feel-like-writing’ thing is a non sense, just another senseless thing. If it is not, then what’s the sense of writing this? I just want to write, write, type, type, write, type, write, and yeah type but it turns out to be a mind game (oh really?). Mixing up your mind, confusing your mind, annoying yourself.. wait, it’s mixing up your brain, confusing your brain, annoying yourself. It’s just it. I owe you an apologize. Sorry again for that one… two.. three.. no, sorry for that one. Okay don’t mind me, I’m just apologizing.

You decide, is it senseless or non sense?? Senseless or non sense? I think it is neither non sense nor senseless for it has a sense, it is ‘no’ sense. Okay, you have my word. You decide.. Senseless or non sense? or Non sense or senseless? I’m just making you confused again.. I’ll stop it.. Now you have read it. It is not senseless or non sense, it has a sense anymore, right? left? right? Yeah, it’s right eh. Is it?

^~~~^

Vengeance Is a Downfall

“Beloved Story”

The Count Of Monte Cristo
by Alexandre Dumas

THERE WAS this man, Edmond Dantes, who was accused of being a traitor. He was arrested the night of his marriage with the woman he loves so much. He was brought to the prison. He had live the fourteen years of his life in there not knowing why he was arrested at all, not knowing who had deceived him. He decided to take revenge and planned everything; from escaping to vengeance. While in the prison he met someone who became his friend. He gave him fortune and when he finally escaped the prison he started his vengeance the way he had planned. But meeting again the woman he had loved and the reason he had lived,  his plan was erased. All gone. He then realize that his fortune and his vengeance are senseless since the woman he had loved was betrothed to the man who had deceived him. He ended up being in love with another woman who loves him back as a father, friend, brother and as a husband.

*It was not easy to summarize the novel in just a few sentences. I can’t explain what I want to say but that’s how our professor told us to do. (A journal entry for beloved story)*

What ‘IF’

“Things would never be the same”

WALKING IN a place with many ‘different’ people made me write this. Almost everyday walking from dorm to classes and from classes to classes I’ve heard a lot of people’s conversation. I’m not eavesdropping from what they are talking about, I was just overhearing it because of the way they talk. I’ve heard different things, different topics but what catches my ears are the what-ifs..

Vast of people, especially teenagers, talk about the very popular what-if thing. What if I didn’t do it, what if I’ve done it, what if it didn’t happen, what if it had happened, what if I agreed, what if I said no, what if… things would never be the same. Aren’t they got tired of their own what-if thing? Aren’t their ears got tired of that certain deafening matter? Let me tell this, why focus on what had not happen if the only thing it do to us is regret. If it only makes us think of what should have happen if things didn’t happen that way. Squandering the time on thinking “it-should-have-been” and making another outcome that never will happen is just a senseless waste of time, right? Just a waste of time.

Listen to your own voice, aren’t you got tired of your own what-ifs? Let us fix our mind on what-will and what-can we do. We can’t get the time back, no one can, anyhow we want it. It’s neither fair nor unfair, but that how life is. Let not waste our current time focusing on what had lapsed. Things will happen because it is what suppose to happen, things will happen the way it should be, things will happen for a reason, things will happen because that what life is about. Now, who says “things would never be the same”? Maybe yes, things would never be the same but it may be also just the same. Who knows? No one did, no one has any assurance of all goings-on, no one can tell. Stop the what-ifs because things can never be the same or things will happen just the same. I know not, you know not, we never will know, no one will ever know. So stop thinking about it, stop wasting your time, stop regretting things that didn’t even happen.

^~~~^

Liar am I?

I’m no straightforward

MANY PEOPLE misunderstood what is true from what is not. There are kind of people who loves to, not really lie but to make the mind of others wonder, mind of others to be mixed up. And I’ll say I’m one of a kind. I love to make others think what’s true and what’s not. I love to make my friends’ wits confused before revealing or until they find out what I am really up to.

I do that because I know that someone or some of my close friends will and can realize whether whatever I’m talking about is true or just a bogus. It became a hobby of mine to muddle my friends and it is up to them if they will believe whatever comes out from me.

Telling lies is different from not wanting to tell the truth straightforward.
I want my friends to look me in the eyes and tell if I’m telling no lies.
I want them to feel what I’m feeling and tell if I’m telling no lies.
I want them to know me, every inch of me and tell if I’m telling no lies.
I want them to love me, love and accept me as what I am and tell if I’m telling no lies.

Liar is someone who ‘keep’ the truth and tell fictive senseless things. Liar is someone who let others believe the lies they told. As for me, “I” am someone who tricks someone’s mind until they come up with the truth on their own. “I” am someone who let others believe what it suits them to believe until what they believe is nothing but the truth. I am a no liar, sorry, for I am just a no straightforward.

^~~~^

It’s Been Too Long

Home is where he belongs

THEY DON’T know each other. They don’t know if they’ve met. They do know nothing at all.

But that day when he was walking, his mind was busy on something not known, he saw her. She’s in red but he didn’t see her face and he doesn’t even mind looking at her. Then his friends say she’s weird because she wasn’t looking, but staring at them… at him. He then regret not looking at her face, maybe he knew her, maybe they know each other but just maybe.

When their paths have crossed again his friends pointed her and said it was her, the woman in red who was staring at him. The moment he look at her, tears started to fall down his cheek.

She saw when the tears run down his face. Her eyes were also clouded with tears but she had learned to manage them not to escape from her eyes. She thought, he recognized me even if he didn’t see me for a long time.

He wipe his tears, knot was formed on his forehead, I knew her but I don’t know her and I don’t even know why there is something about her that made my eyes shed tears.

She then smiled at him.

Hey! He knew that smile. He knew her! It was her, really her.

She open her arms and welcome him. He hugged her, hugged her tightly.

She was his mother. He was her son. His mother whom he didn’t see for a long time, his mother who had promised to come back and now there she is.

“It’s been too long, now he wanna come home”, home where he can feel again the touch of his mother, the love of his mother. It’s been too long…

^~~~^

When We Go With The Flow

Things Get Complicated

“YES”, “OKAY”, “no problem”, “of course”, nowadays these are the common answers of people if someone begs for a favor. Others became afraid of saying ‘no’ because when they say ‘no’ it’s like they’re out of this world, they’re out in the circle of friends. And it came to the point that people forgot to utter ‘no’. Then we are obliged to do what we do not want to do, we do the favor of others with our sad faces and with a heavy feelings, and we are, occasionally, do even the bad things. We kept walking on the wrong road even if we already knew we are on the wrong way which violated our own self, our own decision, our own life.

People often say “action speaks louder than word” and most of us believe those, most of us take that into action. I’m not saying it’s not right because it is true.. but not all the time. Our mistake is that we go with the flow; we are like ‘forced’ to believe something because that’s what many believe in to.

Sometimes people misunderstood your actions. For some it didn’t appear how you want it to and that’s when things get complicated. When things get complicated, explanations and reasons are needed but then those were just heard by the ears and not mind and heart. It means when you started to have explanations or reasons that’s when others have hard time accepting those because people, as well as the ears, got tired of listening. In order to avoid getting things complicated, at times, it’s better to talk first, talk. Let us learn to ‘not to do’ what many have done because the thing is; happenings have a different outcome. Maybe for others “action speaks louder than word” but not for all of us; we have different dilemmas, different problems, different life and we are different people, different from one another.

When we go with the flow, sometimes, things get complicated.

^~~~^

Every Night Just Let It Out

EVERY NIGHT I lay my head on her
She need not to ask me my problem
I open up the things I can’t bear
Also the things that made me smile then.

When tears started to escape my eyes
She catches it and just let me hug her
Even you, whenever you have blue skies
Just let it out and she’ll always be there.

She’s a true friend of mine and yours
And I know she’s everybody’s friend
Simple as she is, you want to know her?
She’s my pillow, your pillow, our pillow.

Not just a pillow, she’s a friend
Without ears she listens to you at night
Without body she let you hug her
Without eyes she sees your sadness
Without heart she understands you
Without words she comforts you
Just hug her, hug her.

*We’ve got a friend even if we think we’ve got nothing,
we’ve got a friend, we’ve got a friend.*

^~~~^

It’s Not Just About Me

Because I’m not the only one…

SOMETIMES I prayed to God about such things. Things I needed, things I wanted and more of the things concerning I, my, and me. And I wonder why God didn’t answer some of my prayers and I’ll just repeat what my prayers were to the point which I got annoyed which is very wrong. I know almost all of us have questioned Him, why this, why that, but have we questioned ourselves before we fired such frothy things at Him? I realized, why will I pray about something that will, yes, do me good but will eventually hurt or even destroy others? I was selfish, I didn’t think of the people around me, I didn’t mind the feelings of others.

For instance (because I’m a student), there is still one last slot for a subject and I pray to God to give me that slot for I want the professor and I want the time, but! But what if someone also pray to God regarding that subject not because she want to but because she badly need to. If you were God, to whom you’ll give the said subject, to me who wants it or to someone who needs it? Of course we know who need it the most, and I can’t blame Him for saying ‘yes’ to that someone and for answering ‘no’ to me. I know it’s also hard for Him. God answers all of our prayers but not with a yes always. Another instance, there was a time that I prayed to God to help me pass my exam and when the results come out, I failed the exam. Then I asked Him, why? But hey! I’m a fool! Why don’t I ask that to myself and not God. I’m the one who failed it, not Him. I’m the one who took the exam, not Him. I just ask for His help and I know that he helped me, the problem is I didn’t help myself. Did I study hard enough, well enough? I don’t think so.

God help us always even if we think we didn’t need Him because the fact is we really needed Him all the time. As what  said earlier, He answers all of our prayers but not as what we expected His answers to be not because He wanted us to suffer but because He wants us to learn. He let me failed (my exam) not for bad but for good and for my sake. I think He wanted me to learn from my mistake, just like you, just like the rest of us. He never leave us, He never closed His hand for us, what He wanted is what’s best for us. I stumbled and fall but He reached my hand and helped me to stand up. Like any other problems (studies, love, friendship, families, etc.) we must not let those put us down, we must put our feet down on the ground and stand still, continue believing.

Also put to your mind avoid being selfish. Prayers are more powerful when you dedicate your prayers for others’ need, needs not wants, and spite of not knowing or hearing there are also people who pray for your needs, who prays for your life. What I really learned is that in this world where I live, where different human beings exist, I am not the only one who seek for His help, it is not only I who pray to Him, it is not only my voice that He’s been hearing, it is not only my life that He’s watching… It is not JUST about ME.

^~~~^

You Are “Very Much” Welcome

To those who visited and have read my blogs…

GOOD TIME of the day. I’m glad you just visit my blog. Hope my blogs fills your heart with inspiration or happiness, hope it also made you realize things. Sometimes you need to widely open your eyes to see even the unbelievable.. Yes, we can see the unbelievable. How? By letting our heart feel what really is true. Just keep believing, keep believing in God and in yourself.

Here is for you (whoever is reading this) :
Remember that OUR life is a sum of OUR choices, not a compilation of others. But don’t be selfish, let yourself be open to others, to what may come. Let God come closer to you, you’ll need Him always. When others turn their back at you, He never will. Open up! Open your eyes to see, to see the unbelievable. Open your heart to feel, to feel the undeniable. Open your ears to hear, to hear the unbearable. Open your mind to think, to think the impossible. Open yourself to love, to love the unlovable. And let not forgot to open yourself to God. But you can only be open if you let yourself to. Do not be afraid of what-will or what-had happen/ed. Focus on what you are right now and do the things what you think will make your inner self rich with love and happiness.

Thank you for visiting, comments and feedbacks from you (good or not) will be very much appreciated so that I’ll improve whatever the crux is. You can also suggest topics on what will my next blog all about, or can even suggest movies you want.

^~~~^

Movies Rewinded [2]

Old or new movies, they all have their own stories..

~ The Forgotten (2004) – IF THE mind forgets, the heart doesn’t. Even if the mind didn’t remember anything the heart always will feel. In this movie, there are people who tell lies and tried to erase the memories of child to their parents. But there’s something that help them remembers that they had child and that “something” was love. Unconditional love, in this movie it is from a mother to her child. Many things stop her from remembering that she had had a child but she didn’t let those ruin her, she stands and fight. Her memories were erased but then the feelings still remains. Unconditional love can defeat even the unbeatable.

~ Sucker Punch (2011) – “DON’T JUDGE the book by its cover” and don’t judge a movie if you haven’t finished it yet. A weird but a cool movie. At first I don’t understand the movie, but as it goes on, I already do. This movie showed that we, ourselves, are the one who decides on what will happen to us, we choose things on our own that lead us to the things that will happen, sometimes remorse manifest but most of the time, in order not to regret, we must stand for the decisions we made..

~ Wedding Daze (2006) – ANOTHER LOVE story but such a different one from others. This movie really suits what I’ve said, love is at all times unexpected. The first day, not yet knowing the name of the girl, Anderson who was depressed from the death of his girlfriend, propose to Katie and to his surprise Katie accepted the proposal. Their wedding took place for a day or three after they met. They have seen each others’ good and bad side and willingly accepted each other and love grew between them, true love. Really, this somewhat weird movie let you realize things, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other or  how much you know each other but how you understand love one another despite of some things.

~ If Only (2004) – JUST ANOTHER love story, but in this movie the most important here is love (of course, love story) and time. Loving somebody is not just saying ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’, or any other sweet words. If you love someone don’t just expressed it in words instead take action, give importance. When the one you love was gone and you didn’t show how you love them enough, sure you’ll regret, remorse shall eat your heart. We don’t want to feel that, do you? So if you love someone treat them with care, fill them with your love, and give importance to their life. You can’t stop the time but you can make your time worthwhile. If you don’t have time then make time, no one handle your time but yourself.

~ The Boy in Striped Pajamas (2008) – “BIRDS OF the same feather flock together” but the two young boys in this movie proved that not only ‘the same feather flock together’.  The two child, even at their young age, showed what a true friendship really means even if they are from a different family and have lived their life from a far different viewpoint and beliefs in life. Their friendship was tested by fear but instead of destroying it, it only strengthen the bonds between them.

*more movies, just keep waiting*

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(pictures from Google images)