WHEN WHAT I only hear is Music… I am relieved. Relaxed. Alive most of the time. Listening to Music is like drowning my soul into oblivion. When it comes to Music, I am a total random. He makes me feel good, better.
But there are times, instead of bringing me into the world of oblivion, Music drowns me to the sea of heaviness, to the ocean of sadness. He also teaches my tears to run.
I put my earphones on and turn the volume up. I don’t wanna hear anything; about things, about everything. I want to go to where music will bring me, to the world I rarely visit but to the world where I wanted to stay. Listening, sometimes, is tiring; even if there’s no need to do anything at all. No movement needed, no effort required, just time and ears. But even time and ears seem exhausted of waiting and hearing such things. So Music is my savior, he’s my best escape.
He’s my way of escaping but he also catches me, put his arms around me and embraced me tightly. I cannot outrun him because in the first place, I didn’t think of running believing that he will bring me to the world I wanted and when he brought me to the latter world, I can’t struggle anymore because I’m already in that world. Jailed into the world of worry where he lets my heart feels what I felt, lets myself worry to what had happened, lets my mind think what I have thought.
People and happenings came flashing, blinding me with pain, hitting me with feelings, stabbing me with remorse. And it’s because of the songs; its mouth singing the words, its hand producing the melody. The words let me remember people, people who matter to me. And the melody lets me remember feelings, feelings I felt for those who matter to me. Then happenings, happenings that have happened to me and to those people. But then, I thank Music for he makes me alive; makes me feel the pain, makes me see the hurt, but then Music also brings me to the world where I belong.
He is still my great escape.