No, I Don’t Miss Him

WE’VE KNOWN each other for some time
acquaintances altered into close friends
yet it seems like I’ve known you all along Continue reading

To Walk Away; An Open Letter Of Sarah To John


       I may not remember this exact date (so I won’t write the date today). But I’ll probably remember this day. The day I’ve finally decided to let you go. It may be absurd because you are not mine –you never were. What I meant of letting you go is that, I’ve decided to walk out of your life.

      Yes I know it’s not totally your loss. It was surely mine. You may not even notice that I’m gone. Continue reading

Protected: That Familiar Face

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Empty Boxes Under The Christmas Tree

THIS BOX has been sitting at the bottom of our Christmas tree for days. There are three of these. We knew that the boxes are all empty. Our Tita just put it there to somehow look like there’s many gifts. Three empty boxes.

Then Christmas and New Year passed by. We removed our Christmas tree and put those three boxes back in Tita’s room.

Then this night, Tita came downstairs holding two boxes and told us; here’s my gift to you guys, why did you put it back?

My sister and I looked at each other, confused. I stood up and get the boxes while giving my sister the what-is-this-look. I gave my sister the other box and sit down. I’ve shaken the box and whispered to my sister that it’s empty.

So I was thinking… Tita’s pranking us right? Tita? Prank? –doesn’t sounds right. Haha. So I decided to open the box.


And I knew it’s empty! Right, my Tita’s pranking us!


But wait..


–look what I found! Haha! A 500-pero bill. Okay, she got us there. And my sister wouldn’t open hers. I told her; no, it’s not empty! Open it!

Hahaha! Thanks Tita! (:


Happy New Year everyone!!


To The S I Adore

TO THE J, I think I love,

To I, I wanna be with,

To the M, I care,

To G I wanna be friends with,

To the T, I look after;

I’m sorry

     to the S I adore..



The Better Way


There’s no other way.

There’s only one way.

Just one..

and you have

to make it better.


Carpe Diem Berns!


You told me to write about you a number of times maybe? But I just don’t want.. yet. Maybe because I want to write about you without you telling me to do so. But here it is. I’m writing about you.


Well.. because this day is special.. And now I have the reason to write about you, to write to you. Haha.

Last summer, my birthday, you know you made me weep a little. Haha.. Well today, I want you to weep, too.

It’s been what? 7 years? 4 years in the corner of the classroom, always seatmates. Plus the years in college. Seven years of friendship? A big NO! Because friendship is not measured by years, not even by numbers.

And now I will bring you back. Back to those days.. not just happy days but also to the one that make us sad.

Remember the..

*FIDEL and (can’t write mine here)?
*time when we walk from one barangay all the way to San Agustin and we were a bit panicking and pretending to be calm as possible?
*time when you got angry with me because of the trike-thing? (It’s lunch time, first year maybe) I know it’s my fault and I apologize. But you were angry and you ignored me for sometime.
*trike days with Celine and Papaps? also the bus ride with Papaps and Celine where we were being hushed by the conductor?
*time when we’ve done all the things just to complete the Simbang gabi? Simba here and there. Simba this-and-that time.
*timessss when you pull my hair?
*time when you always “barat” trike drivers?
*time when you always say “papatayin kita!” and “kakalbuhin kita!”
*time you cried because of boodle fight? lol
*Sanchai? the “c’mon-and-get-me” of the jeepney?
*stare-thing? how you’re so afraid(?) of it!

hmmm.. I’ve got lots of those things-to-reminisce but there are things I can’t write here. You know, secrets! Oh you know it already!!

I know you that much as how you’ve known me. As what you’ve said, “napakalaki mo na kasing parte ng buhay ko..” and “you know too much”.. Well it’s the same. You’ve been a part of my life and there are things that I don’t know if I can do if you’re not there.. And you also know TOO MUCH! HAHAHA. A big thanks to you!

But you think I will make it easy for you just because it’s your birthday? No way! HAHAHA So here! I’ve got you something to decode! Decode it!! I know you can (:




HAHAHA! Decode it if you want to know the message written there.

You deserve to be happy! And I hope this simple words of mine will definitely make you, if not happy, then maybe even just smile? Hahaha!

I’m thanking you for the friendship, for being there.. And I’m thanking Him because He gave me a friend like you, a good one, a true one. (:

This is your day. A special one for you. Carpe diem!

. . . . H . . . . . . . . . . . . Y . . . . . . . . . . . . . . T . . . . . . . . . . . . Y . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . N . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . A . . . . . . P . . . . . B . . . . . . R . . . . . . H . . . . . . A . . . . . . B . . . . . . R . . . . . . . S . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . P . . . . . . . . . . . . . I . . . . . . . . . . . . . . D . . . . . . . . . . . . . . E . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ! . .

GH (remember?)

Unclothing The Unconcious Self

WHAT IS mandala? That was my question, too, upon hearing it. Yes it is a requirement to us to make one. But even if it is a must-do, our prof told us to take it seriously and do it with a peace of mind. It is sacred, she said.

I search for it in the internet to understand more about mandala. Mandala means circle. It is “a representation of the unconscious self”. So I really need to take it seriously. Our prof said it will tell a lot about ourselves through that mandala. We can use whatever we wan, we can draw whatever we want. But the circle is a requirement. Also, we should be drawing in a place where we feel comfortable, in a quiet place, in a place where we are relaxed..

Yes I don’t have any problem on drawing because it’s my passion. I draw. I want to draw. Drawing has been ‘in’ me. The only problem that I knew I will encounter is how to start and how to finish it.

To be honest, I find it hard to make a mandala. I find myself stuck, with nothing to think and nothing to draw. I’ve managed to finish my mandala (almost) within a day. I started to draw then I’ll stop and think. Hmm.. not just think, more on.. reflect on myself, about myself. Then draw again. Reflect. Draw. Until I’m satisfied with it.

Background story: I don’t have a favorite color. And I stopped using color or oil pastel in drawing. I just use a pencil. But where I’m really comfortable is in using pen (ballpen). Yes, pen. It’s alright with me if I’ll have a mistake. What is in my mind is that, if i did something wrong, I’ll do anything and everything to make it as perfect as possible. I know I can’t make it right anymore but it doesn’t mean that it will not be perfect.

Being good is not a compilation of right, but a compilation of wrongs with the right things to do to make everything fall into place.

So here’s my mandala in the making using pen:

my all-set mandala

I want to elaborate what every symbol, drawing, or image drawn in my mandala but it will take too much time and too much words. So I just want you to understand it for yourself. But feel free to ask me anytime, I am more than willing to answer it (:

By the way, I named my mandala; Naked Colors. And I’ve got a number of reasons why.. But I’ll let you handle the realization of why such (;


Just To Write

I CAN’T think of what

to write about

so I think of

writing it down

just to write something.




There is no such word as what you’ve used.


I’ll say..

There is such word. There are such words. Words I’ve used exist.. in my own universe.