The Dream I Used To Dream

WHEN I was younger and knew nothing about such.. I used to dream. We all dream, dream, and dream. Dreams which made us happy. Dreams which pump us with so much gasoline. Dreams which never run out of energy. Unlimited dreams.

And there are nights when I used to think what I dreamed when I was younger and still oblivious to the meaning of the word.. Dream.

Yes. When I was younger I thought dreams are true. I mean.. dreams will happen eventually. I thought that when I dream, it would really happen. That when I dream, it”ll be what I’ll face. But reality proves me wrong. I am wrong.

Time and such add up. I am terribly wrong. I wanted to cry but I’m not a child anymore. Besides, what will you think? That I cried because I didn’t understand the word dream? That I cried because I was wrong? If I’m still a toddler maybe I’ll cry but now I’m being mature.. I’m acting as what people in my age do.

The nights when I thought of my dreams.. this is one of those nights. As a child, of course I dream of a lot of things.

I can still remember when someone asks what I wanted to be, I’ll say I wanted to be an astronaut. I love the night sky. I love to look at the moon. I wanted to wear what they wear; those bulky clothes and I really love that uhm helmet, the glass on their faces. I wanted to fly and wonder how they did it. Then I’ll ask, “Are there astronauts in the Philippines?”

I heard a lot of kids wanted to be a teacher because they want to teach children, too. A lot of kids wanted to be a doctor because they want to help others. A lot of kids wanted to be a police because they wanted to caught the bad people. Those professions never crossed my mind.

When I reached middle school.. I dreamed of being a doctor, for once it finally crossed my mind. But I hated Science and such. I’m afraid to blood and stuff. I just wanted that thing hanging in their neck that when you put in your ears, you’ll hear funny sounds which will made you giggle.

When I reached high school.. I dreamed of being an accountant. But it was just for a moment. It never crossed my mind again. Then I dreamed of being an engineer. I wanted to hear people calling me engineer plus my name or surname. Being an engineer is what really I wanted.. but I didn’t pass; Geodetic engineering it was.

Reading a lot of novels about secret agent, CIA, FBI, spy, and watching movies about detective, crime and investigation, and such pushed me to dream of being a secret agent. I wanted to take up Criminology and then when I graduate, I’ll become one of those people who carry guns and wave their badges and solve crimes. Oh! how I really wanted to be one of them!

For a while, I also dream of being a lawyer. I wanted to be that person who’ll ask and ask and interrogate people sitting in the hot seat. Then I’ll won eventually because I am a goddamn smart lawyer.

I’ve dreamed a lot of things. Dream. Dream. Dream. And none of it really happens.

I’ve dreamed a lot of things. Complicated. Then I realized deep inside me, I have this dream. I long for this dream. But I knew it’ll just be a dream and nothing more. Forever a dream: having a parents.

Dreams thought me the word impossible. It’s funny how words taught me some more words.

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Movies Rewinded [2]

Old or new movies, they all have their own stories..

~ The Forgotten (2004) – IF THE mind forgets, the heart doesn’t. Even if the mind didn’t remember anything the heart always will feel. In this movie, there are people who tell lies and tried to erase the memories of child to their parents. But there’s something that help them remembers that they had child and that “something” was love. Unconditional love, in this movie it is from a mother to her child. Many things stop her from remembering that she had had a child but she didn’t let those ruin her, she stands and fight. Her memories were erased but then the feelings still remains. Unconditional love can defeat even the unbeatable.

~ Sucker Punch (2011) – “DON’T JUDGE the book by its cover” and don’t judge a movie if you haven’t finished it yet. A weird but a cool movie. At first I don’t understand the movie, but as it goes on, I already do. This movie showed that we, ourselves, are the one who decides on what will happen to us, we choose things on our own that lead us to the things that will happen, sometimes remorse manifest but most of the time, in order not to regret, we must stand for the decisions we made..

~ Wedding Daze (2006) – ANOTHER LOVE story but such a different one from others. This movie really suits what I’ve said, love is at all times unexpected. The first day, not yet knowing the name of the girl, Anderson who was depressed from the death of his girlfriend, propose to Katie and to his surprise Katie accepted the proposal. Their wedding took place for a day or three after they met. They have seen each others’ good and bad side and willingly accepted each other and love grew between them, true love. Really, this somewhat weird movie let you realize things, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other or  how much you know each other but how you understand love one another despite of some things.

~ If Only (2004) – JUST ANOTHER love story, but in this movie the most important here is love (of course, love story) and time. Loving somebody is not just saying ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’, or any other sweet words. If you love someone don’t just expressed it in words instead take action, give importance. When the one you love was gone and you didn’t show how you love them enough, sure you’ll regret, remorse shall eat your heart. We don’t want to feel that, do you? So if you love someone treat them with care, fill them with your love, and give importance to their life. You can’t stop the time but you can make your time worthwhile. If you don’t have time then make time, no one handle your time but yourself.

~ The Boy in Striped Pajamas (2008) – “BIRDS OF the same feather flock together” but the two young boys in this movie proved that not only ‘the same feather flock together’.  The two child, even at their young age, showed what a true friendship really means even if they are from a different family and have lived their life from a far different viewpoint and beliefs in life. Their friendship was tested by fear but instead of destroying it, it only strengthen the bonds between them.

*more movies, just keep waiting*

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(pictures from Google images)