A Little Death

DRIFTED SOUL
into the veil of oblivion
Pierced heart
through a hand of a comrade

Words are of no use
Feelings are of no sense Continue reading

I Die a Little

OSTRACIZED
DON’T know what’s going on
they are laughing
they are whispering
i’m out of it
rejected
been told a lie
not knowing
striking words
seeing a family
‘dad’ and ‘mom’
hearing the word mother
thinking of grandparents
friendship planning
lost kinship
saw them together
got my heart pricked
i die a little
i die a little

It Is An Old Friend

I DON’T know how to react
I don’t know what to feel
I don’t know where to be
I don’t know why

I don’t know how to react
When I heard those kind of news
I know it’s not a good news
But there’s a part of me
That I can’t help but partake

I don’t know what to feel
When I heard those kind of news
I know it’s a bad news
But there’s a part of me
That I can’t understand

I don’t know where to be
When I heard those kind of news
I know it’s a serious thing
But there’s a part of me
That I can’t know where to be

I don’t know why
When I heard those kind of news
I know it’s a complicated thing
But there’s a part of me
That my mind tells, it’s –constant.

Those kind of news, those bad news, those serious things, those complicated things.. I know I’m not supposed to react. I know I’m not supposed to feel something. I know I’m not supposed to be talking about this. I know I’m out of this simply because it doesn’t concern me. Simply because they are just strangers to me. But what I’m talking about is… those people.. who.. left.. There in the latter world they gather. There in the latter world is where they are.

What I’m talking about is…

D E A T H.   i s.   n o r m a l.   D E A T H.   i s.   a n.   o l d.   f r i e n d.

^~~~^

The greatest pain!

While I was reading this, I said “I’m gonna reblog this”.
After reading this, I was like “ohhh”.

While reading this, there’s something which connects this to a part of me.
After reading this, I said “I’m really really really going to reblog this”.

So here it is. I hope this will not make you only feel sympathy but will also make you feel you needed to do something, you needed to make a move, you needed to make even a small change.

Hug the people around you.
Have time to ask how they feel.
Watch the words you’re throwing to them.
Understand why their actions change.
Listen to what their silence means.
Let your friends feel appreciated.

As I Walk Through

AS I walk
through the road
of oblivion
I’ve remembered you;

As I walk
through the mountains
of life
I’ve searched for you;

As I walk
through the crowd
of xenos
I’ve met you;

As I walk
through the clouds
of dreams
I’ve dreamed of you;

As I walk
through the letters
of the keyboard
I’ve found U;

As I walk
through the sound
of music
I’ve listened to you;

As I walk
through the series
of wrongs
I’ve learned from you;

As I walk
through the river
of tears
I’ve longed for you;

As I walk
through the chains
of solitude
I’ve loved you;

As I walk
through the red carpet
of the altar
I’ve said ‘I do’;

As I walk
through the path
of death
I’ve followed you;

As I walk
through the blurriness
of ups and downs
I’ve loved you

and always will.

^~~~^

Worse Than Being Rejected

THE MOST painful thing is not the words thrown by people. It is not the things done by people. The most painful thing isn’t death. It isn’t people leaving. Because the most painful thing is; rejection.

Yes it’s rejection. The words that were thrown by people can be forgotten as well as the things they have done. Death is a constant thing. Because all of us will die eventually. Even if it takes time to move on from death of a certain people, we can still get over it. People leaving, it also takes time to say goodbye but as I say, we can still move on with our life. We can get over it and move forward.

But rejection? If we are already rejected, we can’t do anything at all. We can’t change the fact that we were rejected by someone. And even if we have moved on or gotten over from the feeling of being rejected, we can’t change things. We will just always be the rejected one of some. The feeling of being rejected? Woah! It is –worst. Even if we didn’t think of it anymore, we can’t just change it. Even if we let things be, even if we forgot about it, we will always be the rejected one by some.

And what’s worse? –Rejected by someone we care about, rejected by someone who matters to us, rejected by someone we love.

We can’t just order others; hey! don’t reject me. We can’t just dictate others; hey! you can’t reject me. We can’t just beg; please don’t reject me. We can’t just change things; tomorrow when I wake up you won’t reject me anymore.

We can’t just demand for acceptance to someone who can never ever accept us. We can’t just kneel and cry and beg to someone who didn’t even care. We can’t just insist ourselves to people who didn’t even want us in their lives. We can’t just plead to people who didn’t even dare to listen to any words we say. We can’t just ask for things like; please tell me what to do just so you accept me.

And what’s worse than being rejected? Worse than worst? –There is no such solution to rejection that will not hurt you. Whatever we do, whatever we say, how much we try, how many times we beg, how many times we kneel, we will just be hurt as always.

 ^~~~^

WHY-ing

WHY DO keep on believing when nobody knows what’s true?
Why do keep on loving when everybody got hurt?
Why do keep on talking when nobody’s listening?
Why do keep on listening when our own ears got tired?
Why do keep on trying when everybody gave up?
Why do keep on lying when the truth always reveals itself?
Why do keep on crying when we can no longer shed tears?
Why do keep on hurting ourselves when we are already hurt?
Why do keep on waiting when everybody doesn’t care anymore?
Why do keep on doing things when everybody thought it’s wrong?
Why do keep on smiling when everybody knows it’s fake?
Why do keep on living when everybody will eventually dies?
Why? And why do keep on questioning things that can never be answer?
Why do even keep on searching for answers?
Why do we want to know everything? Why?
^~~~^

The Picture Above The Casket

SHE’S DEAD. Two of her friends are with her. They came back from where they’ve been. But the thing is she can’t remember where they have been. She saw the house, the two-story house she doesn’t even know who the owner is. There were a lot of people; people talking, people eating. But those people didn’t bother looking at them as if they didn’t even see them. She, together with her two other friends, enter the said house and go upstairs.

She saw three caskets. Two were open but the other one was close. Each casket has a picture on top of it. She saw the picture standing at the close casket. Upon seeing it, she didn’t realize the tears in her eyes. She was stunned. It was her. That was her picture. But how can it be. There she was, alive, standing, staring at her own eyes on the picture above the casket. But is she really alive? But what had happened? She doesn’t know. She was confused. She wanted to ask a lot of question but to whom? She didn’t dare to open the casket because she doesn’t want to see herself. She doesn’t want to know how it happened. She can’t bear to see herself lifeless.

They saw God walking down the stairs. She with her two other friends, eyes drowned with tears, approach Him, begging for one last chance to talk with their other friend. He gave them another chance but as a condition, they can’t change anything. Yet her other friend tries to change something but God stop her. Then something made her open her eyes. She woke up as her tears came running down, tears she cannot control. It was just a dream. All of it was just a dream. Just a dream.

^~~~^

The Cycle Everyone Knows

NO MATTER how different we are from one another, we’re just undergoing the same cycle. A cycle each and everyone of us knows.

We are born.
We live.
We die.

We are born, taken care of the people who were given the responsibility to.
We live, we live together with people.
We live in this crowd full of strangers who are just living as what we are doing.
And then we die. No matter what we do, we’ll all die.
Alone.

“Live together, die alone.”
(Lost-series)

^~~~^

With Fear I Face Life, While You Befriended Fear and Face Death…

I TOOK your hand and hold it tight
I don’t want you out of my sight
When in darkness you gave me light
And it is coz of love, you fight.

In times of these I need to be strong
And you’ll be staying there for how long?
Waiting for you my tears were prolonged
But it’s by your side where I belong.

I close my eyes and saw you smile
Can we just stay here for a while?
I tried to reach you in a mile
But you just stand there with your smile.

I open my eyes, with fear I face life
While you befriended fear and face death
Reality stabs me with a sharp knife
Can’t we just go back to the time we met?

Farewell to the sight of you my dear
But neither to your voice I still hear
Nor to your love that’ll always be here
Thanks, with your love there’s nothing I fear.

^~~~^