We Have What We Needed

WHY DO we eat and need to drink?
Why do we write and need to move the pen?
Why do we walk and need to use our feet?
Why do we feel and need to care?
Why do we stare and need to blink?
Why do we read and need to turn the pages?
Why do we speak and need to be heard?
Why do we live and need to breath?
Why do we love and need to be loved?
Why do we ask and need to be answered?

Too many questions. Too many why’s. Some can even be answered by toddlers. Eat and drink? To digest our food. Write and move the pen? You can’t write even a single letter if you won’t move it. Walk and use our feet? You can’t walk if you won’t use it. Feel and care? You don’t care only if you don’t feel anything. Stare and blink? Try not to blink, nobody can’t stand it. To avoid the eyes from drying. Read and turn the pages? You can’t finish what you’re reading if you don’t turn the pages. Speak and be heard? Nobody wanted to be ignored. We want communication and communication isn’t just talking and talking. Live and breath? To experience life. Love and to be loved? It’s innate in human. Love is innate. Ask and be answered? We wanted to know everything.

But why do things and need things? Why do things and need people?

Because there are things we do that can’t do it on our own. There are things we do and we need others in order us to fulfill it. Yes, we need others.

We need someone who will firmly hold our hand. We need someone who will stay by our side. We need someone’s shoulder to lean on. We need someone to share our happiness with. We need someone to help us carry the sadness. We need someone who understand us. We need someone who will love us unconditionally. We need someone who will let us feel accepted and appreciated. We need someone to make us stronger. Let’s just admit it; we needed someone.

And God gave us what we needed. He had given it even before we needed it. He knows what we’ll need to live here in earth so he gave us them; parents, friends, siblings, relatives, lovers, animals, nature, water, wind, and more. He gave us all kind of people and all kind of things we needed. He gave us different people and things; each we can give different kind of love.


It’s Past Two AM

IT’S PAST two am and half of the world
is sleeping, they’re in dreamland
some having a good time, some are not.

It’s past two am and half of the world
is wide awake, doing their daily works,
cause it’s not two am in their place.

It’s past two am and here I am doing this
just to fill the boredom while waiting for the time,
the time that will change my life as a student.

It’s past two am and I can’t think
of any other thing to do.

It’s past two am and I think of eating
but it was an absurd thing to do,
at this time of the night.

It’s past two am and the television is still running,
music encompasses my surroundings,
it didn’t care to wake someone up.

It’s past two am and I tried to draw,
but I’m not in the mood.

It’s past two am and I tried to sleep
but my system get used to it;
not sleeping at the time I must be sleeping.

It’s two am and here I am
chatting with my friends
who didn’t think of sleeping too.

It’s past two am, so just to kill the boredom,
here I am again.
Writing. Blogging.
Writing. Blogging.
Writing. Blogging.

It’s past two am…


Full of Emptiness

TODAY I am poured with such information. I search for it and now I found it. But I don’t know what to do. I long for it to know and now I know it. But I don’t know how to react. No one said this is hard. No one warned me that this will be not simple as what I’ve expected it to be. No one teach me what to do and how to react in times like this. No one seems to care.

This is the feeling when you expect what you’re expecting. When you knew what you will find out but then finding out even if you already knew is absurd. I realized ‘knowing what you will find out’ and ‘really finding out’ are two different thing.

This night is a night full of emptiness. I am right now full of emptiness. I forgot to speak, to talk, to see, to hear, I forgot to breath, I even forgot to live for a while. I forgot who am I. Feeding me with such information I wanted to eat but I didn’t dare to swallow. I didn’t want to digest it, because in the first place I don’t understand!

‘Knowing’ and ‘understanding’ are just like ‘knowing what you will find out’ and ‘founding out’. They are two very very unlike word. And understanding is a lot more difficult and a lot more complicated. It requires listening, thinking, and feelings. While the latter requires just ears and eyes! Just to hear and to see, not to listen and not to be aware.

I knew too much but I think it is not yet enough and I need to know more. I didn’t know if a little more or a lot more, all I know is that I need to know more. I need to, in order for me to understand what to be understood.. Eating. It’s like eating. Eating is knowing and knowing what you will find. And swallowing is understanding and finding out. What a process…