Becauses and Not To’s

I SLEEP because I sought to dream
–not to run away from problems.

I sleep because I sought to take it easy
–not to throw away time.

I eat because I sought to please my needs
–not to feed my wants. Continue reading

It Doubles The Burden

SOME SAYS it was alright. There’s nothing wrong with it. But there are some who don’t wanna hear it. They said that they don’t like it.

But to whom will I open my ears? I don’t know..

Maybe a friend of mine is right –everybody doesn’t need to know something. Continue reading

Acceptance

BRINGING OUT the worst not to be rejected

but to be accepted

^~~~^

A Mother Like This Isn’t a Mother At All

I HEARD a lot of things about mothers. How mothers know best, how a mother’s love’s unconditional, how a mother care so much, how a mother will sacrifice everything, how a mother will do everything, how a mother will do this-and-that-impossible stuff.. And all I can think of is “shit”.

I stop believing those phrases long ago! I’ve unlearn what the word mother means. It’s just a word for me and nothing more.. Even typing that certain word makes me feel like I’m doing something I must not be doing. It’s like a sin.. and so does writing this one.

Mother? I never had one. Ever.

But yes, sometimes it would hit me what it would be like to have a mother. A mother more than just word. A real mother. It would hit me and whenever it did, it’ll landed right through me making me feel like I’m just another human being betrayed, abandoned, and unloved. And I know you know what it felt like.

Questions punch me here and there even if I’m trying hard to avoid those, it will caught me off guard.. And their punches hurts. So much.

I don’t know why it hurts so much when in fact there’s no memory of leaving. I don’t know why it hurts so much when I’ve managed to live for 18 years without ‘it’. Yes, sometimes I prefer to use ‘it’ more than ‘mother’. I know it’s maybe somewhat rude but bear with me, I’m not used to using the word mother or mom. It rarely comes out of my mouth either.

All I want to know is what happened. Everybody’s mouth is shut up about it. Not even one wants to tell me. And I think I’m in the right age to know what really happened then. Someone owes me the truth..

I’m angry at her because she left us.. yet I don’t know if ‘left’ is the right word to use but hey it was her choice; a choice which ruins a life, a choice which deprived me something everyone needed, a choice she alone have chosen. After all these years, she can do anything just to talk to me but she never did anything at all. There are these social networking and stuff, we never change our address, she knows where we are but why doesn’t she act? Why don’t do anything if there’s so much ways? Why choose to stay away?

Maybe because she just doesn’t care. At all. Plain and simple.

Well thanks for bringing me in this world. And thanks, too, for making me suffer like this.

^~~~^

The Better Way

THE BETTER way?

There’s no other way.

There’s only one way.

Just one..

and you have

to make it better.

^~~~^

Significance Of The Ambiance

I’M GLAD we abandoned the milk tea shop which I don’t want to reveal the name. We went there to write (blog). But I can’t manage to even start. It’s because there were a lot of mouths. Mouths here and there without ears. People talk as if all they have are mouths, as if they’ve got no ears to hear and realize how loud their voices are.

And now here we are in Taza Mia. A coffee shop where I’m loving the ambiance. It’s my first time here even if I heard of it a vast of time. A coffee shop free of mouths. People are talking but not like the people there in the said milk tea shop earlier. Also the crews are good in a way approachable. The music isn’t deafening. Oh yes, I should stop comparing.. It’s just that, here I can find myself writing without any disturbances.

I’ve got a draft about the said milk tea shop and I’ve written it while we were there. I just feel like sharing this first than the ranting about the latter one.

^~~~^

The Truth Behind Lies and Truths

WHAT IS the plural of lie?

It’s lies right?

And what is the plural of truth?

Is it truths?

In some way it’s not. Truths is an uncountable noun. It means that we cannot count it. You wanted to know why??

It’s simple as this;

It’s because, in this world where we’ve grown up, there are so many lies! Lots of it. They are everywhere. Unlimited. Littering every truth. Stabbing everyone. Breaking every bond. They never got tired. BUT.. no matter how many lies there are, we all know that there is only one truth!

^~~~^