Little of Everything

Too much words will hurt you
so does too much silence

Too much honesty will destroy you
so does every kind of lies, even the white ones

Too much loving will damage you
so does too much pretending

Too much pain will weaken you
so does too much happy thoughts

It is not only the “too much” which hurts us
often times, it’s the little bits of everything that really do.

I Can’t Be Selfish

I can’t be selfish
Because I know you needed me

I can’t just breakdown
Because you’re breaking down

I can’t blame you for knowing you’re just the one hurting
Because you’re hurting enough Continue reading

Is It Worth It?

Sometimes I wonder..
and thought of wanting
to forget everything..

just to forget the hurt..
the pain that I’ve felt..
just to forget the bad memories..

But then.. I thought… Continue reading

Protected: This Is Why It Is “SO MUCH”

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It’s Just Different…

WE WATCH movies. Read books.
And somewhere in between..
we forgot our world.

The one which hurts us.
The one with so much pain
hidden beneath.
Continue reading

When “We’re done” Ruined Me

MY LAST words for you
“I’m sorry.. but I still love you and I think I will always do”

But your last words to me
“We’re done”

as if all that has happened was just another game
as if what we have was just a plain label for you
as if all what we’ve been through was just.. just ‘having fun’
as if what we’ve felt wasn’t true.. wasn’t love
but it was is for me.

Well maybe you’re right..

it was just a game.. a game where I seriously and competitively played but then you won and that means losing everything– for me..

it was just a label.. a label which I treated as fragile but then you treated with no importance at all and that label was shattered..

it was just ‘having fun’.. a fun which I misunderstood as happiness but then it was just ‘having fun’ for you, nothing more..

it wasn’t true.. wasn’t love.. yet a simple truth and a pure love for me but then truth for you is just a word and that love is just another card in a deck of playing cards..

The words
even that short
has the power to break a bond.

The words
even that short
held an unlasting hurt.

The words
even that short
brought so much pain.

The words
even that short
is enough for me to shed tears.

The words
even that short
leave a scar on my heart
a hole in my life.

And the words
those words
came out of you.

^~~~^

Not The Joke, It’s About Trust

I WAS pushing people from their seats to the ground. I was just jokingly doing it. But they were reacting as if I’m gonna drop them. And yes I think it was funny.. Hearing them scream, feeling their tightened grip, laughing.. Yes, I used to tease people.

But then there was this one person. I was pushing her. She wouldn’t react. So I pushed her again. Nothing. Then Again. Nothing..

Then I finally asked her; why are you not reacting at all? Aren’t you afraid?

She simply answer; because I know you wouldn’t do it.

Then I realized.. Yes. it’s true. I wouldn’t. Won’t do it. I was just joking them.. And it struck me. I thought it was funny seeing and hearing people reactions whenever I joke them. Little did I know that what I was doing was to know if they would believe in me, if they’re trusting me.

So some people really believe that I want them hurt? Some people really believe I would do such things to hurt them?

But there are some who didn’t even think that I would seriously push them; who didn’t have a second thought that I would hurt them, or I would even let them be in pain..

So I knew.. that it’s about trust then. Trust.

^~~~^

If Not Love, Then What?

I LOVE him
he loves me

but why are we apart?

I love him
and he loves me

but why did we part?

I love him and my reason is..
simply because I love him alone

he loves me and his reason is..
simply because I love him

My love is not enough for him to be mine

Love is not enough to make someone stay
Love is not enough to keep someone
Love is never enough?

It’s just hard to think
that my love is never enough..

If love is never enough
what then is enough?

^~~~^

Anger Not Pain

WOAH! SEPTEMBER ends! And I’m still stuck at waiting. I know I must stop coz I told myself that September was my last hope.

And that October starts, well I can’t blame myself if I can’t move on from waiting, it’s just the first day of October. Oh well.

Now I finally accepted the fact that it won’t happen anymore. It won’t arrive anymore.

Yes  know I must be hurt. But.. I just can’t feel any pain right now. Maybe because while waiting, I also accepted the fact that maybe it won’t really happen.

When I said September is my last hope for waiting, I also feel not to be hopeful. And I’m glad I did. Because I’m not hurt at all.

Yes I’m angry. Anger it is. But not hurt. Not pain. Maybe just a bit of anger

Yes I’m not supposed to be angry for one reason. Only one. But it is enough to be angry a bit.

Sorry if you can’t understand what I’m talking about.

I don’t have the guts to reveal it to the world. To you.

Just because I don’t want to ruin any relationships; family, friends, whatever.

I’m a bit angry, yes. But I also respect ‘it’.

 

So welcome to my life October! No more waiting and hoping for ‘it’. (:

Let’s just enjoy while we’re together (:

^~~~^

You’ve Said Enough

YOU SAID you care for me

but it wouldn’t mean anything

if you don’t act like you do.

 

You said you love me

but it wouldn’t mean anything

if you act the other way around.

 

You said you believe me

but it wouldn’t mean anything

if you question every words I say.

 

You said you’ll be there for me

but it wouldn’t mean anything

if you’re always walking away.

 

You said everything will be okay

but it wouldn’t mean anything

if you’re the one who’s not open-minded.

 

You said things..

You said..

And here I am, drawn to you

Here I am believing

in all the things that come out of you.

 

You said things..

You said..

And here I am, listening to you

Here I am hoping

to all the words that you’ve used.

 

You said things..

You said..

but it wouldn’t mean anything

if you didn’t mean a thing you’ve said.

 

You said things..

You said..

And here I am, a fool

Here I am, an idiot

still hanging when you’ve already given up.

 

You said things..

You said..

And here I am, hurt

Here I am, in pain

Please, you’ve said enough..

^~~~^