Could You Talk To My Heart And Tell It To Move On?

IF SOMEONE will ask me why am I wearing this.. I am wearing this because I made it. I am wearing this because it is simply beautiful.

But if I would be asked why am I still wearing this.. It’s because this is special. It’s because this bracelet is as special as who taught me how to make it. What’s the big deal then?

The thing is.. I am still wearing this because I haven’t move on. The only reason to move on is I don’t feel anything for him anymore. But the only reason that I can’t and couldn’t move on is that I can’t bring myself to believe the only reason to move on. I can’t believe because it’s the reciprocal of what my heart has been telling me.

I don’t know til when I’ll be wearing this. But you know.. I tried not to wear it. But my body looks for it. My wrist crave for it. So I simply followed them. But that’s not my reason. It’s an excuse of an in denial me.

The truth is.. I felt incompleteness and my heart kept on looking for it. So I purposely ignored my brain and undoubtingly followed my heart.

How am I supposed to move on if everyday I think of you and every night I dreamed of you?

How am I supposed to move on if every silence means your absence and every voice means your words?

How am I supposed to move on if in every song I hear, I heard your voice and in every music I hear, I remember you?

How am I supposed to move on if in everything I do and even don’t do, I think of you?

How am I supposed to move on if  every time I close my eyes, I feel the pain and every time I open it, I see the past?

How am I supposed to move on if I’ve given you my heart?

How am I supposed to move on if I couldn’t talk to my heart?

How am I supposed to move on if you are the only one for me?


Back To Normal: Where We WERE Friends

WE’RE FRIENDS. Partners.

We used to hang out. We used to share secrets. We used to tell even non sense stories. We used to tell jokes and laugh together. We even used to play like kids. We used to text. We used to chat..

We’re friends. We laugh like any other friends do. We talk like any other friends do.

Then people started to tease us. I like you then. I like you even before I knew your name, even before we became friends. But I hide it in order to retain our friendship. I know better than to tell it to you.

But then, something happened. Our friendship collapsed. We let others break the bond between us.

And I hate the fact that we both let them to.

No more friendship? But there are still feelings.

You knew I like you. I don’t know if the feelings are mutual. But there are times when you let me feel like I’m someone special.

You let me guess lock number combinations. Random numbers… and I got it. Your birthday… and I got it. Then you finally said I won’t be able to guess the following combination. But I did. The combination is… 143.

I don’t even know if you do it on purpose but if you did.. well I.. can’t say anything.

Prom night is coming and you wanted a picture of us and I don’t know why. So you texted me and told me. I was like o.O when you ask a close friend of mine to take a picture of us (using your phone and whole body). I was like o.O when your friend slash cousin knew the picture-thing and he took a picture of us, too.

And at that very night, I feel something between us.

I love the way we whisper to each other about how embarrassing it is to stand there while all of them seems like enjoying taking picture of us. I love the way we dance and the music seems like to play forever. I love the way we talk. I just love everything about us that night.

After that night, it just came back to normal. Not the normal before where we ARE friends. But the normal one where we WERE friends..

I dunno.

Maybe it’s just we were both not sure. Maybe it’s just we were both afraid. Maybe it’s just me feeling that way. Maybe it’s just plain friendship for you. Maybe… I just don’t understand at all.

But whatever had happened, whyever it had happened, you will just always be different.

Different in a way, special.

You are and will always be… special.


The Moment I Knew

I’VE BEEN waiting

Not searching

Because I knew I’ve known you


Long before I met you

You’re the one

I knew

The moment I saw you


I felt something

Something I just can’t explain

Something that is totally different

but then, something familiar


For the first time

Something which made me say

You’re the one

You’re just the one

You’re the only one


But the thing is

You didn’t feel something

You didn’t feel anything

You didn’t feel a thing


The thing is

the moment you met me

is just like any other moment

is just like a no-important-moment


I knew you’re the one

the only one

the things is



you also knew





that I’m not the one



(no punctuation marks can express how much pause
how much break i needed
knowing that.. that situation)


Song Lyrics Into Love Story

I WAS scrolling through my cellphone when I saw you driving downtown. Your stare was holding and now I’m paralyzed still stuck at that time. I’m standing here and can hardly breathe. Something’s telling me it might be you. This could not be happening to me. I want to know your name but I was much too shy. But I’ll never be the same, if we ever meet again.

You ask me my name. And I answered why don’t you stay? Let’s have a coffee and pie.

As days go by.. Your eyes, your smile, makes me want you. The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall. You can take my breath away. What if we fall in love the day today?

Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream. I’m the one who wants to be with you and deep inside I hope you’ll feel it too. I need to know I can see you smile each morning and look into your eyes each night for the rest of my life.

I love you like a love song. I like your smile. I like your vibe. I like your style. The reason I love you is you being you. Just you. I need you like water, like breath, like rain. I could be the one.

You were just a dream that I once knew. And you were there, you were everything I’d never seen. God gave me you.

But where have the times gone baby it’s all wrong, where are the plans we made for two? It’s sad, so sad. It’s a sad, sad situation.

I’ve been keepin’ busy all time just to try to keep you off my mind. It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late. I said it’s too late to apologize. I am in misery.

But if I let you go that will be the biggest mistake of my life. I don’t want you to be somebody that I used to know or even the one that got away.

I’d rather be strong. You’ll never know that it’s driving me crazy. But I won’t let it stop. I won’t give up on us. I remember the days.. The way you make me feel, you knock me off my feet.

I just love you. I don’t know why. I just do. I love you this big.


Close To Perfect

IF I ask you to

would you agree with me?


If I ask you to

would you come with me?


Come on!

let’s escape!


Let’s leave them behind

the sorrow, the grief


Let’s leave them behind

the reality, the life


Come with me

to where something is everything

and nothing is something


Come with me

to where lies are jokes

and truth is just a dream


Come with me

to where words are not knives

but a perfect melody just for us


Come with me

to where promises are not glasses to be broken

but glasses to be fixed


Come with me

to where the ocean flies in the sky

and the clouds dive into the sea


Come with me

to where everything is close to perfect

and the only missing is you


So come with me

and everything will be perfect.


Would you come? With me?







Loyal Than Lovers Do

I DON’T know how others forgot the feelings.

I don’t know how they ended the love.

I don’t know how to stop it.

I know nothing..

coz for me, it’s just always here,

the feelings.. the love..


For me it will never fade,

it will never be gone,

but so does the hurt.


I want to learn how others do it

I want to know how they control it

I just want to learn how to forget it

but not to delete the love

not to erase the feelings

just the hurt, the hurt alone.


But I think it’s not possible

because love and hurt

are even loyal than lovers do.


But how did they do it?


like nothing really happened.


Save Me From This

Help and Save Me

From this feelings
Save me!

From this place
From this journey
Save me!

From this world
From this hurt
Save me!

Before it even begins
Before it’s too late
Save me!

Just save me..
From falling for you!


It Kind Of Hurts

There’s a Look In Her Eyes

IT KIND of hurts

when all I care is you

It kind of hurts

when all I think is you

It kind of hurts

when all I remember is you.

It kind of hurts

it has been too long

but it seems

it was just yesterday.

It kind of hurts

I thought I’ve forgotten you

I wanted to forgot everything

but here you are invading my mind.

It kind of hurts

it must mean nothing

I must feel nothing

but why does it hurts?

It kind of hurts

I forced myself not to react

I forced my heart not to beat

but I know it’s impossible.

It kind of hurts

I know I know I know

I thought it was long gone

but it was never gone at all.

It kind of hurts

but you didn’t know

and you’re oblivious

that it kind of hurts.

It kind of hurts

for the nth time, I’m saying

for the nth time, I’m feeling

that it kind of hurts.

It kind of hurts

but it only hurts

just because it was YOU.


We Said We Don’t Care

YOU SAID you don’t care,
I said I don’t care.
But in every sleep,
I saw you in my dreams.
And in every silence,
You heard my voice.
But we said we don’t care.

You said you don’t care,
I said I don’t care.
But in every song I hear,
I heard your voice.
And in every song you sing,
You sing for me.
But we said we don’t care.

You said you don’t care,
I said I don’t care.
They all say, talk. Just talk!
They all say fix it. Just do it!
But there’s nothing to talk,
And there’s nothing to fix.
And we said we don’t care.

I have loved you and I still do
You have loved me and you still do
But you didn’t know what I feel
And I didn’t know what you feel
Can’t we just talk,
Can’t we just admit;
We care.


Things People Did

*this was written not today*



WELL.. TODAY was not really my day. I was moody. Others would tell something and I’ll just rebut it. Others would ask me something and I’ll just reason out sounding like wanting a debate.

Little did I know I was already debating with myself.

People I care seems like rejecting me
People I care seems like walking out of my life
People I care seems like not caring at all

What have I done? Why do people do such things to me? Why do different people do the very same thing others have done to me? Things that hurt me. Things which, as much as possible, I was avoiding.

Am I the problem? What have I done to them that push them to do such things? What is the problem? What’s MY problem?