Complicated As Hell

This entry was originally written (started) by my brother (here’s his blog). He started this entry but then gave up. He told me to continue this post so I did. Hope this won’t disappoint you Kuya (brother)!

LOVE – THIS has always been a topic all people will be interested to or will have a say with. Some will give pieces of advice while others will be badly seeking for them. Yet, the ultimate question is always “Who knows what?” To whom shall you go if you need certain love advice? Who will give you a correct one? As regards to these questions, only one thing is for sure, we’ll never know. That alone proves that this specific topic can be as complicated as hell. –Really as hell.

Well let’s just start to the definition of love. When you ask people, “what is love?”, they’ll give different answers. Some will give positive answers, some will give negative answers, some will be speechless, some will joke about it, some will take it seriously, some will give the aura of not-that-interested when in fact all of us are really into love. Well, see! We, ourselves, didn’t really sure what love is. We define love as if we’re sure about it, as if we’re expert about that thing but deep inside we really don’t know. Complicated as hell.

Let’s continue by asking; “have you been in love?” Ohh I can see the smile on the faces. I can see the frown on the forehead. I can see the pout of the lips. I can see the trembling of the hand. I can see the flickering of the eyes. I can hear the squeals. I can hear the ‘oohhs’. I can hear the sighing. I can hear the cursing. It seems like I see all of their reactions, hear all their expressions, feel all their tenses which they were trying to hide. Have you been in love? Complicated as hell.

Who knows what? Who knows love? Who loves who? Have you ever been in love? What is love? There are lots of questions about love, never-ending questions.. Love –it’s complicated as hell!


Worse Than Being Rejected

THE MOST painful thing is not the words thrown by people. It is not the things done by people. The most painful thing isn’t death. It isn’t people leaving. Because the most painful thing is; rejection.

Yes it’s rejection. The words that were thrown by people can be forgotten as well as the things they have done. Death is a constant thing. Because all of us will die eventually. Even if it takes time to move on from death of a certain people, we can still get over it. People leaving, it also takes time to say goodbye but as I say, we can still move on with our life. We can get over it and move forward.

But rejection? If we are already rejected, we can’t do anything at all. We can’t change the fact that we were rejected by someone. And even if we have moved on or gotten over from the feeling of being rejected, we can’t change things. We will just always be the rejected one of some. The feeling of being rejected? Woah! It is –worst. Even if we didn’t think of it anymore, we can’t just change it. Even if we let things be, even if we forgot about it, we will always be the rejected one by some.

And what’s worse? –Rejected by someone we care about, rejected by someone who matters to us, rejected by someone we love.

We can’t just order others; hey! don’t reject me. We can’t just dictate others; hey! you can’t reject me. We can’t just beg; please don’t reject me. We can’t just change things; tomorrow when I wake up you won’t reject me anymore.

We can’t just demand for acceptance to someone who can never ever accept us. We can’t just kneel and cry and beg to someone who didn’t even care. We can’t just insist ourselves to people who didn’t even want us in their lives. We can’t just plead to people who didn’t even dare to listen to any words we say. We can’t just ask for things like; please tell me what to do just so you accept me.

And what’s worse than being rejected? Worse than worst? –There is no such solution to rejection that will not hurt you. Whatever we do, whatever we say, how much we try, how many times we beg, how many times we kneel, we will just be hurt as always.


I Kissed Dating Goodbye

I JUST have finished reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I have read it in one day, atleast ten hours straight. Joshua Harris has touched my life. I have learned so much, knew things I never think of, saw what I have been doing with my life, thought of how the world has changed its clothes over the years. It feels like something in me undergoes a bit changes as I turn the pages and it triggers my hand and heart not to stop but to reach its final page. Reaching until the end didn’t fully answer and just left some questions swimming in my mind, still more and more came pouring in. But then some things must be left unsaid, unanswered, for us to learn what we need to.


(picture from Google images)

You Don’t Know..

IT’S JUST about “my mood” right now that I’ll write this. For the ‘someone’ that I will meet someday or I have already met, for the ‘someone’ I want to share the rest of my life with, for the ‘someone’ I am patiently waiting for, for the ‘someone’ I will always love, this I think is for you.

You don’t know how much I want you. How much I want to see you, to hug you, to hear your voice, to hold your hand, to touch your hair, to kiss your forehead, to witness your smile, to touch your face, to stare in your eyes, to lean on your shoulder, to feel your arms around me, to be with your side when you’re down, to spend my life with you, to hear you say you love me too, and how much I want to feel your lips touches mine, as much as how I’m dying to see you beside me hearing you say “I do”.

Such a sweet, don’t-know-when-will-happen dream. And someday, when our feelings grow and revealed, all of that will happen, all of that will not be called as a dream anymore.

Geez. Is it all right? Writing all of this, who you are is a big question mark. A question mark that will only be erased by you. And I know that day will come, we just don’t know yet when. Let the love begins when the unexpected happens.