Pretence

I HATED you
For the tenderness you lack

I hated me
For the expectations I had

You hated me
For the sweetness I lack

You hated you
For the impatience you had

I love you
For all that you are

You love me
For all that I am

Pretence can you just leave?

 

★ Just Andy
2013

A Night In February

MR. SUNRISE bids farewell
Vast of feet bids welcome
Stilettos landing hard on rocks
Met by thousands of dust
From boots and slip-ons and sandals

Ready to face the rest of the night
With good intentions, altered reasons
With one another, safety encompasses Continue reading

Protected: End Of Story. But Not Of OUR Story.

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Your Eyes

YOUR EYES told me
how much you love me..

but you
never did tell it to me.

^~~~^

When “We’re done” Ruined Me

MY LAST words for you
“I’m sorry.. but I still love you and I think I will always do”

But your last words to me
“We’re done”

as if all that has happened was just another game
as if what we have was just a plain label for you
as if all what we’ve been through was just.. just ‘having fun’
as if what we’ve felt wasn’t true.. wasn’t love
but it was is for me.

Well maybe you’re right..

it was just a game.. a game where I seriously and competitively played but then you won and that means losing everything– for me..

it was just a label.. a label which I treated as fragile but then you treated with no importance at all and that label was shattered..

it was just ‘having fun’.. a fun which I misunderstood as happiness but then it was just ‘having fun’ for you, nothing more..

it wasn’t true.. wasn’t love.. yet a simple truth and a pure love for me but then truth for you is just a word and that love is just another card in a deck of playing cards..

The words
even that short
has the power to break a bond.

The words
even that short
held an unlasting hurt.

The words
even that short
brought so much pain.

The words
even that short
is enough for me to shed tears.

The words
even that short
leave a scar on my heart
a hole in my life.

And the words
those words
came out of you.

^~~~^

You and I.. “US”

I’M NO hater
so I can’t hate myself for loving you

I’m no lover
so I can’t love anyone else more than you

I’m no photographer
so I can’t picture us together

I’m no reader
so I can’t read your mind

I’m no writer
so I can’t write u and i

I’m no painter
so I can’t paint my life without yours

I’m no story-teller
so I can’t tell our story

I’m no singer
so I can’t sing my feelings for you

I’m no song writer
so I can’t write a song about us

I’m no inventor
so I can’t invent us

There’s even no us

But one thing I’m sure

I am a dreamer
so I can dream

There’s us
There’s you and I.

^~~~^

Anger Not Pain

WOAH! SEPTEMBER ends! And I’m still stuck at waiting. I know I must stop coz I told myself that September was my last hope.

And that October starts, well I can’t blame myself if I can’t move on from waiting, it’s just the first day of October. Oh well.

Now I finally accepted the fact that it won’t happen anymore. It won’t arrive anymore.

Yes  know I must be hurt. But.. I just can’t feel any pain right now. Maybe because while waiting, I also accepted the fact that maybe it won’t really happen.

When I said September is my last hope for waiting, I also feel not to be hopeful. And I’m glad I did. Because I’m not hurt at all.

Yes I’m angry. Anger it is. But not hurt. Not pain. Maybe just a bit of anger

Yes I’m not supposed to be angry for one reason. Only one. But it is enough to be angry a bit.

Sorry if you can’t understand what I’m talking about.

I don’t have the guts to reveal it to the world. To you.

Just because I don’t want to ruin any relationships; family, friends, whatever.

I’m a bit angry, yes. But I also respect ‘it’.

 

So welcome to my life October! No more waiting and hoping for ‘it’. (:

Let’s just enjoy while we’re together (:

^~~~^