Song Lyrics Into Love Story

I WAS scrolling through my cellphone when I saw you driving downtown. Your stare was holding and now I’m paralyzed still stuck at that time. I’m standing here and can hardly breathe. Something’s telling me it might be you. This could not be happening to me. I want to know your name but I was much too shy. But I’ll never be the same, if we ever meet again.

You ask me my name. And I answered why don’t you stay? Let’s have a coffee and pie.

As days go by.. Your eyes, your smile, makes me want you. The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall. You can take my breath away. What if we fall in love the day today?

Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream. I’m the one who wants to be with you and deep inside I hope you’ll feel it too. I need to know I can see you smile each morning and look into your eyes each night for the rest of my life.

I love you like a love song. I like your smile. I like your vibe. I like your style. The reason I love you is you being you. Just you. I need you like water, like breath, like rain. I could be the one.

You were just a dream that I once knew. And you were there, you were everything I’d never seen. God gave me you.

But where have the times gone baby it’s all wrong, where are the plans we made for two? It’s sad, so sad. It’s a sad, sad situation.

I’ve been keepin’ busy all time just to try to keep you off my mind. It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late. I said it’s too late to apologize. I am in misery.

But if I let you go that will be the biggest mistake of my life. I don’t want you to be somebody that I used to know or even the one that got away.

I’d rather be strong. You’ll never know that it’s driving me crazy. But I won’t let it stop. I won’t give up on us. I remember the days.. The way you make me feel, you knock me off my feet.

I just love you. I don’t know why. I just do. I love you this big.

^~~~^

We Said We Don’t Care

YOU SAID you don’t care,
I said I don’t care.
But in every sleep,
I saw you in my dreams.
And in every silence,
You heard my voice.
But we said we don’t care.

You said you don’t care,
I said I don’t care.
But in every song I hear,
I heard your voice.
And in every song you sing,
You sing for me.
But we said we don’t care.

You said you don’t care,
I said I don’t care.
They all say, talk. Just talk!
They all say fix it. Just do it!
But there’s nothing to talk,
And there’s nothing to fix.
And we said we don’t care.

I have loved you and I still do
You have loved me and you still do
But you didn’t know what I feel
And I didn’t know what you feel
Can’t we just talk,
Can’t we just admit;
We care.

^~~~^

The Day I Finally Met Him

FINEST MOMENT. Hearing those two words, there is this one moment that hits my mind..

It was in year 2009, 18th of December. Of course I won’t forgot the date. It was late in the afternoon. Vast of people coming in and out. Vast of people walking from different directions. There are lots of people waiting. There are lots of happenings. I am in the airport.

Standing there with my aunt, waiting, lots of things are invading my mind. Why now? I find myself asking my mind. Why not later? Or tomorrow or some other time? I just want to focus on waiting right now. But they wouldn’t leave me alone. They form questions. Questions I didn’t even know were formed right before it invaded my mind. Maybe it’s just because of nervousness. Time passes by and it seems like we’ve been waiting for almost an hour but he hasn’t arrive yet. Yes we were waiting for him. For my father.

What does he looks like? Can I recognize him once I see him? What will I tell him? How to greet him? Can he even recognize me too? What will he tell me? What will I do? How to act when with him? How to talk to him? What? Whaaaat?! For a moment, I’ve believed that my mind was going to explode. Questions came pouring like a rain which wouldn’t stop. Even the senseless questions were formed. One moment I felt excited. But the butterflies in my stomach have erased that excitement. And they didn’t even get satisfaction, they have replaced the excitement with fear.

What time is it? He’s not yet here. I keep on checking every man who walks towards our direction. Is it him already? I asked myself. What if it’s already him and I don’t even recognize him? I keep on talking to myself. I keep on questioning myself. But even I can’t answer too. I just can’t focus anymore like everything is a blur.

There’s a family beside us waiting too. A mother and two children; boy and a little girl. Then a man came and hug the mother. The mother told her son to hug him but the son wouldn’t move. Oh he was just shy, the mother said. Then I saw in the boy’s face the shock and the tears that were formed in his eyes. For a moment I thought I have read his mind. Maybe he didn’t saw his father that long too. I became aware of my surroundings. I became aware of the people who were waiting too. People came and there will be exchanges of greetings, there will be hugging one another and kissing, and then they’ll leave together as if they were together that long.

Veering my head from right to left, moving my eyes from time to time, searching; I catch a glimpse of a familiar man. I just recognized him? Yes it’s him. It’s really him. He approached us. Every step he took was like the years gone. It was so slow and sooo.. I was… speechless. I didn’t know what I feel. I became mute and deaf. I forgot how to speak. I even forgot how to breath for a moment. I was out of words. I am lost for words. He hugged me and say my daughter. I didn’t hug him back simply because I can’t manage my hands, my body, to move. I didn’t know what to do. So I just let it be. So be it! I felt warmth in my eyes but I manage to hold it back. I won’t let it escape. Not in front of him, not in front of many, not in a place where there’s a crowd of strangers.

I remember the boy earlier who wouldn’t hug the man who seems to be his father. He was silent too but in his eyes I saw the warning of tears. He didn’t move and didn’t speak but I saw it in his eyes. His eyes said it all. That’s why I thought that I have read his mind, because his eyes have talked to mine. Maybe that’s what I felt too. Maybe we felt the same way towards the man who seems to be our father.

After of almost twelve years, that was the first time I saw my father. Yes I saw him when we were chatting online. Yes I heard his voice when we were talking over the phone. But seeing him 3D, seeing him personally was far more different from seeing him in the desktop. Hearing his voice and talking to him personally was far more different from hearing it over the phone.

 

Happy Father’s Day to all fathers out there!
Happy Father’s Day Daddy! (:

^~~~^

He Searched For Love But Found Hatred Instead

HE SEARCHED for her. Simply because he wanna know her. Because not knowing her is not like knowing his whole self. Not knowing her is like never having a satisfying day. Not knowing her is like carrying a heaviness inside him. Not knowing her is like not knowing a part of him. Not knowing her is like not having a life at all.

So he desperately search for him. He desperately wanted to know her. He search for her in every possible way he can. And just one day, poof! He found it. He found her. He realized that wanting to find her and finding her are two very different situation. Wanting to find her; he was expecting to find her. But then finding her is like an unexpected thing to happen even if he’s already expecting it. He found her but then he’s on a dead end.

Yes he did find her. But what to do now? He didn’t have any plan at all. He had planned to search for but what will he do when he already saw her? He search for her because he wanted her love. The love that must be given to him without asking for it. The love that must be given to him unconditionally by her. The love that was never given to him at all. The love that was deprived from me by the person who was supposed to be giving it. That love that was lost even before it was given.

He wanted her into his life. He wanted her to be a part of his life. He wanted her to do her responsibility to him. He wanted her to love him. He  wanted her to care for him as how she would have cared to someone she loves. He was not just searching for her but also for what she must be doing. He was longing for those things. But it didn’t do him any good. Even finding her didn’t cause any better. Searching for her was right but finding her was a mistake. It was worst than ever. He never know when will he call her mother or will he ever?

He have searched for her love. But what he found was hatred. Hatred for himself and for her. He hated himself for finding her and he hated her for not minding to search for him at all. He hated himself for wanting to know her and he hated her for acting oblivious. He hated himself for wanting her into his life, for needing her care, for longing her love and he hated her for leaving him in the first place. He hated himself for not thinking of the aftermath of what he was doing, for not thinking of the changes that have happened over the years and he hated her for not wanting to know what have happened to him either.

He was so wrong. He was sorry for himself. Searching for her, he found hatred and he put it in his heart. And it was no good. No good at all.

^~~~^

I’ve Sketched My Heart

I STARE at the blank paper
a pen in my hand
I started to write
then I realized
I have written your name
so I crumpled the paper.

I stare at the blank paper
the pen still in my hand
I started to think
then I realized
I’m thinking of you
so I crumpled the paper.

I stare at the blank paper
I moved the pen in my hand
I started to draw
then I realized
I’m oblivious to everything
I just draw and draw.

I stare at the paper
not blank anymore
I stare at my drawing
my hand has sketched
my mind has thought of
my heart has dreamed of.

I stare at the paper
the drawing in it
seems familiar
right before my eyes
little did I know
I was staring at you.

 ^~~~^

It’s The LOVE I Know, But It’s Not What I Saw

NO SHARP edges to hurt you,
Never-ending cycle we knew.

Light side –always present,
Yet dark side won’t be absent.

Can’t be composed of only one,
It’s made up of everyone.

Feelings are being shared,
People are being heard.

It’s not about ‘just us’,
It’s not a rush.

It’s not about cash,
It’s not a task.

It’s not about distrust,
It’s not a must.

It’s not about lust,
It never was.

Hard to find where it started,
It never really ended.

It’s love, it’s a circle,
It’s love, it’s a riddle.

It’s the love I know,
But it’s not what I saw.

People made it sharp,
That hurts a heart.

  ^~~~^

(picture from Google images)

The End Of No Beginning

YOU WON’T talk to me.
You don’t even mind looking at me.

I wanted to talk to you,
it’s just.. I’m too shy to do so.
I simply glimpse at you,
it’s just.. I don’t want you to notice.

We’re out of stories, nothing to talk about.
You wouldn’t open another topic.
But I want another conversation.
Yet I’m forced to say goodbye.

We’re out of stories, nothing to talk about.
I waited but you wouldn’t open another topic.
And I wanted another conversation.
I don’t want to hear you say goodbye.

We’ve talked and talked.
Talk about things, random things,
but never the things about us.

Please tell me to stay
and I’ll stay.

Please stay.
I wanted to say.
But I just can’t let the words out.

Please tell me you need me,
and I’ll be with you.

I need you.
I wanted to tell you.
But I just can’t manage to utter.

I need to go, I stare at you,
but you didn’t look back.
So I walk away with a pricked heart.

You need to go, I feel vulnerable,
so I didn’t look at you.
And you walk away, I’m with my pricked heart.

I let you go
but you’ll never know
because I never tell you so
what I really felt for you –status quo.

I let you slip away
but you’ll know in no way
because I never ever say
what I really felt for you right away.

 

Now tell me; there’s no love lost.
But I tell you; THERE IS A LOVE LOST.

^~~~^