I Want To Sleep, IT Won’t Let Me

I WANT to sleep
but it would visit me

I want to sleep
but it wanted to meet me

I want to sleep
but it’s been waiting for me

I want to sleep
but it can’t wait patiently

I want to sleep
but I don’t want it to happen

I want to sleep
my eyes were drugged to close
but I know it was just forcing me

I want to sleep
dig deep and deeper in dreamland
but I know it would bring me to graveyard

I want to sleep
but it simply wouldn’t let me.

I want to sleep
without it happening
it —sleep paralysis..

^~~~^

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Factual Nightmare: Those Sleepless Nights

WAY BACK three years this “thing” was first experienced by me. Every night whenever I go to bed I am frightened thinking that it will happen again. Every night I found myself lying awake staring at the darkness that encompasses my room wondering how real it was, how real it has happened.

We were peacefully sleeping, four of us in bed; in my right was my sibling and in my left was my aunt. Before long I heard a loud BANG!, just like something really gigantic has fallen in our roof. Then I questioned myself, didn’t they (people I’m with in the room) hear that? That sound was loud enough and it scared me, I was confused that they didn’t even hear that. I saw a shadow in our window which was open but we do have a screen so the insects cannot get in.

Back with the shadow I saw, it has red eyes but it was only a shadow, a shadow that looks frightening which I can call as a bodyless beast.  I was anxious, uneasy; it was pulling me towards the window, pulling me using its red eyes. I felt my body floated heading for the bodyless beast except something was holding me back, I think that something was myself, I was holding myself back. I heard someone was praying, begging God. I veered my head and saw my aunt murmuring, speaking softly but very fast. She was the one praying, a rosary in her hands with her eyes tightly closed. I decided to fight back, to stop the bodyless beast from abducting me. I was kicking and punching so hard but I cannot move. I tried to move my head but I can’t, my hands, my feet, it was like “they” was holding me tight. “They” were I do not know if human beings or just many shadows like bodyless beast. I yelled at them.

Sonofabitch! Let go of me!”, “You sonofabitch!”, “Let me go!”, “You all are shit!”, those were the phrases I barked but how much louder I shouted those, there are no sounds coming out of my mouth, it’s just in my mind that I’m shouting. I cannot move, cannot speak, and cannot even open my eyes. Then I need to do something, I tried and tried to move and shout but nothing happened. The bodyless beast was so close to getting me.

Before long I attempted again to move my leg then I woke up. I was so nervous and I inspected my surrounding, all of them were sleeping. Nothing had happened. It was just a nightmare, but a very real nightmare. Sleep. My body was begging me to sleep, my eyes wanted to sleep but I don’t want to. Like something was drugging me to sleep again. So I get up, turned on the light and jumped and jumped and jumped. I went to sleep again with the rosary in my hand praying for God’s protection.Since that happened, I find it hard to sleep at night. I started to search it on the net and found out that some had also experienced that. Until today, it never stop happening to me. It will occur for at least twice a week or at most twice a month.

^~~~^

(pictures from Google images)