Never Enough

Walks under the moon and stars
The atmosphere filled with stories
Reminiscing old memories
While making new ones

Stories of stories
Every bits of stories
Vast of laughter shared
Infinite smiles you brought Continue reading

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How Much Is ‘A Lot’

I’VE BEEN thinking of you lately.

A lot.

^~~~^ ★

It Makes Sense

LITTLE TALKS

made sense

when I’m talking to you

never mind the eavesdroppers

 

Late night walks

made sense

when I’m walking with you

under the shooting stars

 

A day

made sense

only when I see you

even just for a while

^~~~^ ★

Tick Tock!

IT COUNTS. Everything counts..
No diggity!

Tick tock and I’m still stuck
with your tranquilizing voice.

Tick tock and I’m star-struck
with your undoubted gentleness. Continue reading

Troubled Fall

EVERYONE FALLS in love..

but a lot of times

..we misunderstood it as it is.

^~~~^

The Call

I HEARD my phone ringing. It was at the side of my laptop. I veered my head. I was about to answer it. Unknown caller.. But upon seeing the number… I knew. I knew it was him. I don’t know his number but seeing the first 2 digits lets me know that it was him.

I let it ring. Twice. Thrice. Four times. Five times before answering it. It will be rude of me if I didn’t answer. It would make me bad if I will not answer it.

So I answer it.

Am I that bad if I don’t feel like talking to him?
Am I that bad if I won’t open up to him?
Am I that bad if I won’t tell stories to him?
Am I that bad if I am not that comfortable talking to him?
Am I that bad if I’m a bit irritated?
Am I that bad?

I feel neither hate nor anger. But I feel something bad.. I don’t know what it is. But is it even my fault?

^~~~^

Pretending Everything’s Fine

IT’S JUST hard to pretend that everything’s okay. It’s harder to pretend that you’re fine, when in fact you’re feeling the other way around. Harder, too, when you know that the person who made you feel that way is there with you.

Everyday I had to carry the burden and face the fact that I will see the person who made me feel miserable. And you know how it’s annoying that she’s acting like everything is fine between us.

Everything is not fine. Why can’t we admit that something is wrong! There’s a problem. Or maybe, it’s just about me? Or maybe, I’m the problem itself?

But every time I see her, I am hurting. I can’t prevent the hurt.. No one can. Knowing that she knew she did something wrong..  knowing that she knew I was hurt and all I am waiting for is her apology.. all I am waiting for is her ‘sorry’.. all I am waiting for is the confrontation that never take place, –will never maybe.

Every time I see her, I can’t forget how she lied to us.. I can’t remove the lies in her face.. I can’t erase what she had done.. I can’t unheard what she had said.. I always remember..

Every time I see her, I had to deal with what I’m feeling –the hurt. Why do everytime I look into her eyes I saw nothing? No remorse, no concern, nothing at all..

I am hurt because she is my friend, and vice versa –that is what I thought.

I don’t know if what I am to her now. An acquaintance? A companion? I don’t know!!

All I know is, she used to be my friend. We used to share secrets. We used to tell stories. We used to be together.. I used to be her friend.. but now I’m starting to realize her definition of friendship..

–availability

Yeah I think that’s what friendship for her. Whoever’s available to be with her that’s her friend. And whoever’s not, is simply not.

^~~~^

 

Could You Talk To My Heart And Tell It To Move On?

IF SOMEONE will ask me why am I wearing this.. I am wearing this because I made it. I am wearing this because it is simply beautiful.

But if I would be asked why am I still wearing this.. It’s because this is special. It’s because this bracelet is as special as who taught me how to make it. What’s the big deal then?

The thing is.. I am still wearing this because I haven’t move on. The only reason to move on is I don’t feel anything for him anymore. But the only reason that I can’t and couldn’t move on is that I can’t bring myself to believe the only reason to move on. I can’t believe because it’s the reciprocal of what my heart has been telling me.

I don’t know til when I’ll be wearing this. But you know.. I tried not to wear it. But my body looks for it. My wrist crave for it. So I simply followed them. But that’s not my reason. It’s an excuse of an in denial me.

The truth is.. I felt incompleteness and my heart kept on looking for it. So I purposely ignored my brain and undoubtingly followed my heart.

How am I supposed to move on if everyday I think of you and every night I dreamed of you?

How am I supposed to move on if every silence means your absence and every voice means your words?

How am I supposed to move on if in every song I hear, I heard your voice and in every music I hear, I remember you?

How am I supposed to move on if in everything I do and even don’t do, I think of you?

How am I supposed to move on if  every time I close my eyes, I feel the pain and every time I open it, I see the past?

How am I supposed to move on if I’ve given you my heart?

How am I supposed to move on if I couldn’t talk to my heart?

How am I supposed to move on if you are the only one for me?

^~~~^

The Little Blessing In Disguise

YOU ARE not supposed to be here.
But anytime soon, you’ll be here.

She’s not supposed to have you.
But anytime soon, she’ll have you.

It’s too early
for you to be in her life

It’s too early
to have you in her life

But there is no wrong timing
for He decided to send you this time

Maybe because she needed you
Maybe because you needed her
Maybe because in order to live
you’ll both need each other.

So, as her friend,
with open arms
welcome!

Welcome to her life!
Welcome to this universe!
Welcome little blessing!

^~~~^

(I made this poem in behalf of my sister for her friend.
And it’s easy for me because I’ve been in her shoes.)