I WAS there for you but
you didn’t give any importance
so I distance myself
knowing you’ll look for me.

But I was


Anger Not Pain

WOAH! SEPTEMBER ends! And I’m still stuck at waiting. I know I must stop coz I told myself that September was my last hope.

And that October starts, well I can’t blame myself if I can’t move on from waiting, it’s just the first day of October. Oh well.

Now I finally accepted the fact that it won’t happen anymore. It won’t arrive anymore.

Yes  know I must be hurt. But.. I just can’t feel any pain right now. Maybe because while waiting, I also accepted the fact that maybe it won’t really happen.

When I said September is my last hope for waiting, I also feel not to be hopeful. And I’m glad I did. Because I’m not hurt at all.

Yes I’m angry. Anger it is. But not hurt. Not pain. Maybe just a bit of anger

Yes I’m not supposed to be angry for one reason. Only one. But it is enough to be angry a bit.

Sorry if you can’t understand what I’m talking about.

I don’t have the guts to reveal it to the world. To you.

Just because I don’t want to ruin any relationships; family, friends, whatever.

I’m a bit angry, yes. But I also respect ‘it’.


So welcome to my life October! No more waiting and hoping for ‘it’. (:

Let’s just enjoy while we’re together (:


The Moment I Knew

I’VE BEEN waiting

Not searching

Because I knew I’ve known you


Long before I met you

You’re the one

I knew

The moment I saw you


I felt something

Something I just can’t explain

Something that is totally different

but then, something familiar


For the first time

Something which made me say

You’re the one

You’re just the one

You’re the only one


But the thing is

You didn’t feel something

You didn’t feel anything

You didn’t feel a thing


The thing is

the moment you met me

is just like any other moment

is just like a no-important-moment


I knew you’re the one

the only one

the things is



you also knew





that I’m not the one



(no punctuation marks can express how much pause
how much break i needed
knowing that.. that situation)


Just The Available One?

YOU ARE not supposed to tell me everything.
But it doesn’t mean that you should not tell me what I need to know.

You are not supposed to tell me everything.
But it doesn’t mean that you won’t let me know.

You are not supposed to tell me everything.
But it doesn’t mean that you will… lie

It’s hard to pretend everyday.
Everytime I see you, so does the lie.
I can see the lie you told us, you told me.

I didn’t know it was a lie at first.
Of course. Because I believe in you.
But I have that feeling. The feeling that I knew you were hiding something.

But hiding something and telling a lie are two different situations.
And you prefer the latter one.

It’s not easy to pretend that I didn’t know.
I wanted to confront you but I waited for you to do it.

It’s hard to wait for you to do it.
But still I waited and waited… for nothing.

It’s not easy not to think about it.
Because it was you who have done it and you are my friend.

I didn’t even know that you have an issue with me.
But the moment I knew, I made a choice.

I was hurt. Yes I was really heart.
And everytime I see you, I remember the lie, the hurt..

I once asked myself; am I really your friend as what you have said?
Or am I just someone who’s available to be with you?

It’s really sad. I felt sad for asking that to myself.
And I didn’t even wanna know the answer.

I made a choice. A choice you made me to choose.
A choice where I was forced to choose because I didn’t have an option.

Not to be involve. Silence.

I made a choice.


The Truth Behind Lies and Truths

WHAT IS the plural of lie?

It’s lies right?

And what is the plural of truth?

Is it truths?

In some way it’s not. Truths is an uncountable noun. It means that we cannot count it. You wanted to know why??

It’s simple as this;

It’s because, in this world where we’ve grown up, there are so many lies! Lots of it. They are everywhere. Unlimited. Littering every truth. Stabbing everyone. Breaking every bond. They never got tired. BUT.. no matter how many lies there are, we all know that there is only one truth!


Unseen. Unspoken. Unforgotten.

UNSEEN. UNSPOKEN. Unforgotten..

Carved. Embedded. Buried.

“maybe it won’t ever go away, coz there’s no other way,
just came and stay, oh it’ll stay”

no need to speak
no need to explain
no need to elaborate
i think my hand knows me more than I do..


How Will I Know If Truth May Not Be Told?

HERE’S FOR those who don’t know what to believe anymore!

Here’s for you who always says, “I don’t know what to believe from what you say anymore!”



What you see may not be true..

What you hear may not be true..

But what’s important is what you feel..

Coz it’s the only thing that will let you know
what’s true from what is not.




*cheers! I know you’ll figure out the truth. I know you’ll get used to it. I know the time will come when you’ll be hundred percent sure that it’s true!*