my unfinished business
I WAS drawing using my pen. Pen. Not a pencil. And drawing using a pen means you can’t make a mistake. As I continue moving my hand, no matter how hard I tried to slow down to make sure I’ll not make any mistake, I still do. Yeah, I know it is impossible not to make any mistake at all. Even just a little bit wrong move of my hand means a big mistake.
Then it flashes right through my mind; drawing is a lot like living. Many would say, I can’t draw, I can’t. And I wanted to ask, do you ever try? Many would say, I’m no good at it. And I wanted to ask, do you ever try your best to be good at it? Many would say, I can’t do it, I can’t draw, I’m not like the others. And I wanted to ask, do you need to be like them[the others]?
It’s like living! Many would say, I can’t take this anymore. And I wanted to ask, do you even try facing it? Many would say, my life’s so damn and it’s nonsense. And I wanted to ask, do you even try to do good and make your life worth living? Many would say, look at their life, I’m not like them, I’m not as fortunate as them, I’m not as good as them. And I wanted to ask, why do you need to be like them in the first place? You are not like them because you are different! We are all different in a way.
Those things have happened. Those words have been said. Those questions have been asked. And those same things will continue to happen. Those same words will be spoken again and again. Those same questions will be thrown again and again. My point is not only in drawing but in living and in all the things we do..
Drawing. Living. It doesn’t matter how much we try to slow down. Being afraid of making a mistake does not mean not committing any. As avoiding to make a mistake does not mean not having any.
But it’s in our mindset that a mistake will ruin our drawings, that a mistake will ruin our lives. A mistake that makes the drawing ugly, a mistake that makes the life miserable. But what our eyes didn’t see is that a certain mistake, sometimes, is what makes our drawing beautiful, what makes our drawing different, is what makes us learn a lesson, what makes us stronger than we used to be.
If we are afraid to draw then how can we see how beautiful our drawing will be? How can we see what we can do without trying? How can we appreciate ourselves? If we are afraid to live then how can we see how beautiful life is? How can we see what life can give us without experiencing it? How can we accept who we really are? If we will not draw, no one will draw for us. If we will not live, no one will live for the life which must be ours.
Many would say, why continue doing things if you can’t even do it? And I wanted to ask, why not do things that will make you go on? Why giving up when life gave us all the reasons not to?
Many would say… but what would YOU say?